Feeling unsettled

posted in: re-makes, Uncategorized | 4

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Eeek,  it’s Friday and I should be writing about my Friday treat but today I am feeling too unsettled to think about spoiling myself. Today my eldest son is taking part in the Young Voices Choir at the 02 with his school and somewhere between 5000 to 8000 other children! It is an amazing opportunity and he is really looking forward to it but I am finding it very hard to let go.

Last year he was diagnosed with high functioning autism, which in my teaching days was known as aspergers syndrome. Although we are still coming to terms with the diagnosis it also came as a huge relief as it explained why he found it so difficult to make friends with children his own age, why his play seemed immature and inappropriate at times and why his behaviour could be so challenging. Biggest boy has blossomed since his diagnosis, he is relieved to know why he feels a bit different, we are able to put strategies in place to support him- routines, rules and consistency are all crucial. And we are able to understand his behaviour. His school have been wonderful- supportive and communicative throughout.

But today is definitely unsettling for both of us. We have approached it with careful planning and much discussion with the school. I am reassured that he will be with his fantastic teacher throughout the day. We have watched endless footage of previous concerts with him and talked through all the possible scenarios (very difficult when we don’t really know what to expect!) Obviously we had the option of him not going but having seen the footage and discussed it, biggest boy was keen to go and I don’t want having aspergers to hold him back. I am so proud of him for approaching the day with enthusiasm when I know that he is extremely nervous and unsettled (the day brings uncertainty, lack of routine, and of course the unfamiliar which can be very frightening for him). But as he keeps telling me it is a once in a lifetime opportunity!

Having dropped him off at school this morning I am now drifting aimlessly from room to room. So far I have done half the washing up, looked at some felt, put away some bits of fabric and got my yarn out. It is at times like this that I take comfort from my crafty corners. I have spent a good while arranging the little shelf in the top picture today- last week my mum in law gave me two hangers that used to be hers when she was a little girl. I think they are so pretty that I have displayed one on the dresser. And the daisy bunting is something I made for myself earlier in the week.

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I think I need to accept that today is not going to be very productive! Luckily I’ve got some crochet commissions that I need to get on with so I’m hoping they will distract me- thank goodness for crochet! My latest craze is mixing two colours, it’s so exciting as it creates a completely different effect. This is a pic of a cowl that I’ve just started. It’s lovely and repetitive and works up quickly as it’s made with a large 10mm hook. I will share the pattern at some point (when I get my concentration back!)

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Right time for telly on, nice cup of tea and fingers crossed some crochet distraction!

Hope you are all having a lovely Friday!!

Sam x

4 Responses

  1. Angela Thomas

    Big hugs, Sam. My grandaughter, Cerys was at the O2 on Tuesday, singing with her school choir – had a wonderful time. I hadn’t realised that your eldest is on the spectrum – yes, today will be tricky, but I hope it doesn’t prevent him from gaining something good from the experience. Therapuetic crochet is probably just the right thing! Another hug for you 🙂

    • sam

      Thank you Angela, yes he was only diagnosed a year ago at the age of 9 but he is doing brilliantly. I am pleased to report that he had a wonderful time and was very well looked after by his lovely teachers! Phew!!

  2. Mad Mand

    I have just started reading your blog after seeing it in Style at Home. I’m quite crafty, although lately I’ve been doing watercolour painting. I read the bit about your son having aspergers and wanted to say he has done incredibly well to go to the O2. My son has high functioning autism but is extremely sensitive to noise, but despite this he (with a lot of support from us) is at college and doing really well. Good luck to him.

    • sam

      Hello! thank you for your lovely comment, it’s inspiring to hear that your son is doing so well! I do worry about the future and what to expect for my son, but I guess it’s best to take it one milestone at a time and I was so proud of him for being so brave about the 02 trip.

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